We’ve all heard divorce horror stories from friends, coworkers or family members. Divorce is one of the most stressful experiences to endure. It is a loss which carries the weight of grief with all the ensuing emotions, including anger and denial. If you’re dealing with your own crumbling marriage, you’re likely feeling overwhelmed and scared about the impact divorce will have on your family and you. How can you survive the transition and adjust to a new life? The following suggestions may help you through the process.

1. Don’t try to handle your divorce on your own. In the interest of saving time and money, people are willing to compromise and are turning to the internet and online websites offering divorce packages and forms to “do it yourself.” Without more understanding of the law, they often don’t realize they could be compromising their legal rights. Preparing legal documents without the benefit of a legal opinion may result in unintended consequences that could be even more costly or impossible to correct in the future. Do talk with a law firm that can offer options, including alternatives to litigation, to help you save on attorneys’ fees.

2. Don’t assume traditional litigation is the best option. A common misunderstanding is that it is better for a judge to make decisions if spouses cannot agree. The reality is that litigation limits the decision-making of both parties and increases attorneys’ fees. You and your spouse are in the best position to determine what happens to your children and your property. There are cases where negotiation or mediation are not appropriate because of abuse or mental health issues, or these options prove ineffective. To determine a good strategy, find an attorney who will focus on what is best for you, your family and your financial situation.

3. Establishing a good rapport with your attorney is essential. You’ll want to feel comfortable communicating with your attorney. Don’t hesitate to ask your attorney questions. Find an attorney who educates you about divorce law and your options so you can make informed decisions. You and your attorney need to work as a team to strategize about the necessary steps in your case. Be sure to let your attorney know what matters most to you, whether it is keeping your home, retaining your retirement, receiving legal custody or more parenting time. With that knowledge, your attorney is better equipped to help you receive reach your goals either by negotiation in the conference room or litigation in the courtroom.

Remember, these suggestions are not meant to be legal advice. You should consult an attorney to discuss the specifics of your situation. If you have questions, you may contact our firm at 317-569-0770 or

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