Indiana Family Lawyer Blog

By: Clarissa Finnell

Almost every meeting with a new divorce client starts with a recitation of all the reasons that the parties are getting divorced. High on that list is infidelity. Clients will provide me with loads and loads of evidence that their spouse is cheating and are surprised to find out that all this "proof" of infidelity is unlikely to impact their divorce. Indiana is a no-fault divorce state which in basic terms means that the reason the parties are divorcing is not a factor considered by the court when dividing up the parties' assets and debts. The reason or grounds for divorce that is most commonly used in Indiana divorce petitions is that there has been an "irretrievable breakdown" in the marriage. It is important to know that there does not have to be a consensus on whether the marriage is "irretrievably broken". As long as one party alleges that it is "broken", the divorce can be granted.

So, does this mean that your spouse's cheating will never be relevant in a divorce proceeding? Not necessarily; there are a couple of incidents where it may play a factor. The first is dissipation. There is a presumption in Indiana that all marital assets and liabilities be divided equally. There are several ways that you can rebut that presumption. Dissipation is a factor that the court may consider when deciding to divide the marital estate. If you can show that your spouse used marital assets on another person during your marriage that may be considered dissipation. For example, spending money on travel or gifts for the "other" woman or man may be considered dissipation and warrant a deviation from the presumptive 50/50 division.

In addition to being a factor considered in the division of property, a significant other may be a factor in a custody determination. The court will not correlate one's fitness to be a parent with their faithfulness as a spouse. However, the court may consider the parent's judgment with respect to when and if they introduce their children to the other person. Generally, it is not wise to introduce children to a new girlfriend or boyfriend too soon after the separation. The Court would also be concerned about the parent's judgment if their new significant other poses a danger to the children. Exposing the children to someone who is abusing alcohol or drugs or that has a history of abusing children, would impact a custody determination.

Although the law in Indiana does not take punitive measures against the cheating spouse, there are limited circumstances where it may be a factor in the divorce process. As these cases are fact sensitive, it is always a good idea to discuss the specifics of your case with an attorney to determine what if any relevance your spouse's actions will impact your divorce.

The attorneys at Harden Jackson practice exclusively in the area of family law and are skilled at handling any type of family law case. While divorce and legal separation are the more common areas of practice, we have extensive experience with custody, child support, pre/post-marital agreements and more.

If you have questions about divorce in Indiana or other family law matters, please contact Harden Jackson Law.

Remember, these suggestions are not meant to be legal advice. You should consult an attorney to discuss the specifics of your situation.

Surrogacy can be an extraordinary gift to help an individual or couples build their family. However, it is best if some security measures be employed to ensure that all parties have a positive experience. There are many issues to consider when entering into a surrogacy relationship. The topics below are by no means exhaustive, as every surrogacy relationship is different. Your needs as well as the needs of the Surrogate may change during the course of the surrogacy. With that said, it is extremely important to consider the following information prior to entering into a surrogacy relationship. This is part one of a two-part series.

1. Is the surrogate in a "surrogacy friendly" state?
It is extremely important that the surrogate resides in a "surrogate friendly" state. It could prohibit the intended parents from establishing parentage in the child if the state prohibits surrogacy. There are a number of legal issues that concern third party reproduction. The laws regarding third party reproduction vary and are different from one state to another in the United States. Thus, all couples are advised to consult with an attorney who is knowledgeable in the area of reproductive law, within their individual state. And this attorney needs to be legally able to practice law in the state where the surrogate will deliver.
There are very few states that protect the Intended Parents (IP) by issuing pre-birth orders through the court system which places the name of the Intended Parents on the birth certificate prior to the baby being born. This makes the IPs the Legal Parent(s) at birth and they do not have to adopt their baby.
In the United States, the surrogate must live, be a legal resident, and deliver in one of the surrogate-friendly states.

2. Is there a medical necessity to have a surrogate?
Keeping your good figure or a stressful high-powered job are not valid reasons to work with a surrogate mother. Most IVF doctors (and all good IVF doctors) will only work with couples that have a medical reason to do surrogacy. There are sometimes psychological issues that can be included, but we consider psychological to be a medical reason.

3. Do I want to go through an agency, or find a surrogate as an independent?
Evaluate the advantages to working with a reputable surrogacy agency. Choosing surrogacy means you'll need a help to oversee the process. An agency helps by matching you with a surrogate that is a compatible match for you as well as coordinating any screening and legal consultations. An agency also discusses unthinkable issues such as pregnancy termination and reduction, complications, compensation, housekeeping expenses, bedrest, confidentiality issues, etc. They can help with an anxious process by educating you and coordinating all of the overwhelming steps.

4. Does this surrogate have insurance without a surrogacy exclusion?
If her insurance includes a clause that excludes surrogacy pregnancies, then she will need a supplemental insurance policy. If the intended parents do not obtain a supplemental insurance policy, they should be prepared to pay for any expenses during the pregnancy out of pocket, including any costly complications. State or federal insurance, like Medicare, are an absolute bar for surrogacy.

5. Do I need a supplemental insurance policy?
Supplemental insurance is always a good idea to protect intended parents from extremely costly complications that are unforeseen during the pregnancy or birthing process. Although the policies are expensive, it could end up costing intended parents more money if they opt not to obtain a supplemental policy.

If you have questions about surrogacy or other family law matters, please contact Harden Jackson Law.

Remember, these suggestions are not meant to be legal advice. You should consult an attorney to discuss the specifics of your situation.

Michele Jackson, an attorney at Harden Jackson Law, is presenting on International Adoption at the 37th Annual Child Welfare Symposium sponsored by the Joint Council on international children's services (JCICS) on May 21st, 2013.

The lightning talk is titled, Analysis of Risk in an International Adoption Program and Strategic Planning for Growth Amidst the Risk and Hague Convention. It is part of a fast-paced session for attendees to hear about different child and family-related topics from professionals in a variety of fields.

The Joint Council helps orphaned and vulnerable children live in a permanent and safe family by advocating on their behalf, marshaling the resources they need, educating those who serve them and mobilizing those who care. Joint Council and its partner organizations provided services to 2.1 million children and families in 2010.

Ms. Jackson is a founder of HARDEN JACKSON, LLC where she serves as Chair of the Adoption & Reproductive Law Practice Group and concentrates her law practice in adoption, assisted reproductive technology, and international family law. Her practice includes representation for adoptive parents, as well as step-parent and second parent adoptions. Additionally, Ms. Jackson represents intended parents or surrogates in gestational surrogacy arrangements and other Assisted Reproductive matters such as egg donor agreements. She is routinely sought for her knowledge and experience regarding issues in international adoptions and international family law and has extensive experience with children in the United States and orphans worldwide. Ms. Jackson has dedicated herself to the adoption of orphans worldwide, while assisting couples and individuals to realize their dreams of becoming parents. Her commitment includes traveling to countries to develop and maintain in-country contacts including agencies, attorneys and foreign authorities.

Harden Jackson, LLC is a Carmel law firm providing personalized service with a responsive and compassionate approach. As effective and experienced litigators, the attorneys work with clients to develop strategies for negotiating settlements, while always preparing for litigation if necessary. The practice assists clients in all areas of family law, adoption and reproductive law matters.

Once you have chosen the right the right family law attorney for you, there are essential pieces of information that you should share with your attorney immediately to help you with a positive outcome.

1. Disclose any disparaging allegations from the opposing party. Be up front about what your soon-to-be ex is saying about you. Whether true or not, if he/she is making claims about your behavior or actions, it is in your best interest to tell your attorney about this. Your attorney can prepare to respond to these allegations.
2. Disclose your basic financial information. This includes your income, debts and assets. Financial issues are typically a determining factor on whether your case will need to go to litigation or can be settled.
3. Names and ages of your children. Also, tell your attorney if any of your children have special needs or anything else that should be taken into consideration when it comes to parenting time or future financial support of your children.
4. Disclose the case history. Are there upcoming hearings for this case? Are we the first attorneys to represent you for this matter? Have you tried to modify the agreement in the past? This information will assist your attorney with advising you on your path forward.
5. Your goals. What outcome would you like from this situation? What are your ideas around asset division or parenting time? The better you can communicate this to your attorney, the sooner they can begin to work on a solution for you.

At HARDEN JACKSON, LLC, our entire practice is devoted to servicing clients throughout the Indianapolis area and the state of Indiana in all areas family law, including divorce, custody, child support, property division, paternity, post-divorce modifications, prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, simple wills, adoption, surrogacy and other areas of assisted reproductive technology law.
Our services are designed to provide expert guidance, tenacious advocacy, and effective solutions that ensure you can continue your journey with confidence that you have obtained the best outcome for you and your family. We are experienced, seasoned litigators and advocates. We are skilled negotiators, including registered mediators. We are an assertive, effective team of attorneys providing comprehensive services.

If you have questions about divorce or other family law matters, please contact Harden Jackson Law.

Remember, these suggestions are not meant to be legal advice. You should consult an attorney to discuss the specifics of your situation.

Attorney Michele Jackson, who chairs the Adoption Practice Group of Harden Jackson Law, is featured in this month's Hamilton County Family magazine. The article is titled "The Adoption Option" and discusses the process of adoption.

Jackson is a founding member of Harden Jackson where she offers numerous legal services for domestic and international adoptions including private and agency adoptions, step-parent adoptions, second parent adoptions, and surrogacy contracts. In addition, Jackson is also the founder of MLJ Adoptions, an international adoption agency based in Indianapolis.

See below to read the article

The National Infertility Association will recognize National Infertility Awareness Week®, April 21 through April 27, joining millions of women and men fighting the disease of infertility, professionals and other thought leaders to promote greater awareness about infertility. For National Infertility Awareness Week®, Harden Jackson will focus our activity on educating both professionals and families on issues relating to infertility. Harden Jackson is dedicated to assisting couple and individuals achieve the dream of building a family. We provide sound legal advice for an oftentimes confusing and emotional journey. There are quite a few different ways to bring a child into your life. While certainly not comprehensive, the following information can help you understand more about the different ways you can build your family.

Surrogacy - Surrogacy is an assisted reproductive technology which provides an option for individuals or couples who are unable to conceive or carry a child. Advances in reproductive methods including in vitro fertilization (IVF) provide alternatives for creation and implantation of an embryo for pregnancy. A surrogate agrees to become pregnant for the purpose of giving the child to another individual or couple (the "intended parent(s)" or "IPs"). Parties to a surrogate arrangement typically enter into a surrogacy contract (or surrogacy agreement) which details the terms of the process including costs.

Egg or Sperm Donation - Surrogacy can also involve egg and/or sperm donations. If you are using an egg or sperm donor for your surrogacy process, most agencies or REI doctors will require a legal contract to address the responsibilities of both the Intended/Recipient Parent(s) (IPs) and the donor. The contracts provide protection for all parties by detailing compensation and responsibilities and help clarify expectations.

Embryo Adoption - Embryo adoption provides a new adoption choice! Rather than adopting a child who has already emerged from her mother's womb, embryo adoption allows the adopting family to begin the adoption journey nine months earlier with pregnancy and childbirth. Embryo Adoption provides the Intended Parents, who are unable to naturally or medically conceive, the opportunity to give birth to a child (this could also include using a Surrogate).

In all of the above situations there are legal implications and responsibilities. For more information on the legal services we provide to help you build your family, contact Harden Jackson Law.

It is very rare that a family law case reaches the Supreme Court. However, on Tuesday, emotions boiled over at the U.S. Supreme Court as the justices heard arguments in a case testing the meaning and reach of the Indian Child Welfare Act, known as ICWAA. This is a case that touches on the already complex process of adoption and the United States' embarrassing history of taking away Native American children from their family - this is no typical family law case.

According to the Huffington Post, the case involves a South Carolina couple fighting for custody of their adopted daughter who, after a court battle, was returned to her biological father in Oklahoma.

At issue is the Indian Child Welfare Act, a federal law that gives tribes and relatives a say in decisions affecting children with Native American heritage. Passed in 1978 because of the high number of Indian children being removed from their homes by public and private agencies, the act gives the tribe and relatives a say in decisions affecting the child. In the current case, to be heard Tuesday, more than a dozen states and 23 current and former members of Congress have filed briefs supporting the law.

Matt and Melanie Capobianco adopted a baby several years ago, but the girl's father - a member of the Cherokee Nation whom she had never met - argued that the child's mother gave her up without his consent. The state's highest court sided with him, and she was returned to Oklahoma.

When Dusten Brown challenged the Capobiancos' adoption, he said federal law favored the girl living with him and growing up learning tribal traditions. A South Carolina court agreed with Brown, who took the girl - named Veronica, and now age 3 - back to Oklahoma in 2011.

Appealing to the state Supreme Court, the Capobiancos said they had bonded with Veronica and argued that removing her was detrimental to her development. But justices sided with Brown last summer, saying in an emotional opinion that, while the Capobiancos were "ideal parents," federal law requires that custodial preference be given to the child's Native American parent.

As reported by NPR, emotions were pretty raw inside the Supreme Court chamber. That's not particularly surprising, given that two of the justices -- Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Clarence Thomas -- have adopted children.

But it was Justice Sonia Sotomayor who jumped in feet first, repeatedly cutting off the adoptive parents' lawyer, Lisa Blatt, before Blatt could answer a question.

Finally the chief justice silenced Sotomayor, saying, "Could I hear her answer, please!"

Blatt argued that Brown could not invoke ICWA to get custody of his daughter. He had "no legal rights whatsoever," she said, because he had given them up and failed to provide any financial support.

Justice Antonin Scalia disagreed, saying, "This guy is the father of the child, and they're taking the child away from him even though he wants it."

Blatt replied that the birth father, who had not had any contact with the child and provided no financial support, had "a biological link that under state law was equivalent to a sperm donor."

But "this isn't state law," countered Scalia -- it's a federal statute that uses "expansive" language to define the Indian family and to prevent its breakup.

Sotomayor took a similar view, asking, "If the choice is between a mother, a biological father or a stranger, and if the father's fit, why do you think" that the federal statute requires the child to be given to a stranger -- namely, the adoptive parents?

The only stranger here, shot back Blatt, was the birth father, "who expressly repudiated all parental rights."

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg challenged Blatt's characterization, noting that the birth father said he only intended to surrender his custodial rights to the mother, not to adoptive parents, and that when he found out about the adoption, he objected.

Nonetheless, Blatt argued, Congress did not intend for ICWA to reach a situation like this one, where there was no existing Indian family with custody prior to the adoption. Applying ICWA to this adoption dispute, she said, would amount to "conscripting other people's children to grow the tribal population based solely on a biological link."

Attorney Michele Jackson, who chairs the Adoption Law Division, notes that the ICWA was enacted federally, but does apply in each state, including Indiana. "The purpose of the law is well-meaning and generally good but potentially too far reaching into ancestry, as in this case in which the father is 2% Native American, so we assume child has even less ancestry." There is a dichotomy in the law, in that putative fathers may have little rights in Indiana but yet Indian tribes potentially have more rights than a father. Indiana likely needs to revise their statutes to provide better and more clear protections to birth families and potentially Indian tribes. Ms. Jackson concludes, "You can be pro-adoption and pro-birth family/history at the same time."

A decision in the case is expected by the end of June.

One of the first questions we get from prospective clients inquiring about divorce is "How much money will my divorce cost?" This question is tough to answer. There are so many extenuating circumstances that can affect your legal costs in divorce. There ARE ways to minimize legal fees and maintain control over the terms of your divorce. At Harden Jackson Law, we encourage spouses to avoid litigation and consider alternatives such as mediation or collaborative law. Both are less expensive than traditional divorce litigation, but each alternative method still provides a structured, legal process to work out detailed terms. However, there are many situations that aren't suitable for collaborative law or mediation. Here are a few tips to minimize your legal costs in your divorce:

• Speak directly with the opposing party. Don't reach out to your attorney with disputes that could be sorted out between the parties, particularly if it is a parenting time issue that is already addressed in the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines (IPTG).
• Disputes over minor property issues (like movies, sporting equipment, kitchen stuff) are not cost effective. If it costs more for your attorney to fight over a particular item than it would be to replace it, then it may not be worth fighting over unless there is a sentimental attachment.
• Organize discovery responses on your own. Clients who do their own due diligence and send back organized documents and responses are rewarded by not having their attorney incur bills to get everything together.
• Be timely with information requests. Having your attorney keep reminding you to send documents only incurs more fees. In fact, the cheapest option is an informal discovery where the parties are organized enough to get their financial documents exchanged without the need to request it.
• "Sleep on it". Don't make emotional decisions. If opposing counsel sends an offer or a response, wait to respond when emotions have died down. Spending a lot of time crafting a response while emotions are high cost money and may even lead to regret.

At HARDEN JACKSON, we want all of our clients to be satisfied with the fees charged relative to the services provided. It is appropriate and important to discuss fees with your prospective attorney during your consultation and throughout the process of your case. You are entitled to an estimation of potential total costs related to your particular situation. For more information on divorce in Indiana or your family law situation, contact Harden Jackson Law.

We are continually reminded that many prospective parents and Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) professionals believe surrogacy can't happen in Indiana. Indiana has strong case law on the establishment of parentage in biological parents through surrogacy. Additionally, our firm has implemented the same process when using donor egg and/or sperm. Our firm files for parentage in many surrogacy cases per year and has not had any denied to date. It IS happening in Indiana, but not without some legal risks.
There remain old surrogacy statutes that indicate surrogacy is against public policy. These statutes were written under the idea of traditional surrogacy (In a traditional surrogacy, the surrogate becomes pregnant with her own biological child, which has been conceived with the intended biological father or donor sperm) only and did not contemplate gestational surrogacy (In a gestational surrogacy, the surrogate has no genetic link to the child/ren she is carrying; rather, the egg is provided either by the intended mother or an egg donor). There have not been any gestational surrogacy contract disputes in the State of Indiana for judicial publication. We do have an antiquated surrogacy law, but in practice judges are following the more current case law and there has been support shown by the judiciary for surrogacy evidenced by their signing of the necessary documents.
Indiana has a strong position that biological parents of a child born through gestational surrogacy will be given parental rights. There are legal risks that would need to be considered when using a surrogate in Indiana. Also remember, that we represent nearly 50 clients each year in these matters and have not encountered any negative responses from the Court and have been successful in establishing parentage. We have had wonderful success for many families using surrogates in the State of Indiana.

Remember, this information is not meant to be legal advice. You should consult a family law attorney to discuss the specifics of your situation.

If you have questions about surrogacy, egg/sperm donor contracts or other assisted reproductive technology, contact Harden Jackson Law.

Are you considering international adoption? Have you adopted internationally in the past? If so, you may be well aware of some of the problems listed below when filing for your Orphan Visa. Sometimes, this can be a very disheartening process for intended parents as this is one of the final steps before bringing the child home.

You have your foreign Decree for your International adoption and you now have filed your I-600 - Application for Orphan Visa (I-R3 and I-R4). This is for all Non-Hague countries Orphan Visas; however, if you are adopting from a Hague Country the process is similar but does have some differences, specifically the reasons for problems in the Hague Orphan Visa process. For general information about the I-600/I-600A process, please see U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services

Over the past ten years in international adoption and most specifically in the past 4 years, we have seen higher scrutiny given to the examination of the Orphan Visa applications. I believe the increased scrutiny is a result of the following:
1. Corruption in the international adoption process;
2. U.S. State Departments desire to streamline international adoptions into Hague and agency only adoptions to avoid corruption; and
3. Overall political shirt to scrutinizing immigration and therefore, increased desire to limit immigration into the U.S.

There are two ways in which you may file your I-600: Filing in the U.S. at the National Benefits' Center - NBC - (Department of Homeland Security/United State's Citizenship and Immigration Services) or in country (this may be at USCIS foreign office within an Embassy or with a U.S. State Department officer who are also given authority to review I-600 applications). The following will be the results of your filing:
1. Approval (if received by NBC) this is still only a pre-approval.
2. Request for Additional Evidence (RFE) - This means that the officer reviewing your application wants additional information to be able to make a determination. This can be used for various reasons and often does not mean that there are any problems in your case, but merely a desire for additional documents.
3. Notice of Intent to Deny (NOID) - This means that the officer reviewing your case did not deny your case but intends to do so. The NOID will give you time to respond and provide information so that the officer will not Deny. You will be given reasons in which the officer feels that a Denial is appropriate and therefore, you can respond accordingly. The intended parents or an attorney they retain can provide the response to a NOID.
4. Notice of Intend to Revoke (NOIR) - This is often used with the NBC already provided an approval and when documents were reviewed and the investigation was performed in the foreign country, the reviewing officer in the country determined that a Visa could not be issued and therefore, gave intended parents a Notice that they intend to revoke the approval for an Orphan Visa.
5. Orphan Visa Denial - Upon review of the I-600 and accompanying documents and the 604 Investigation in country (and potentially additional documents provided after a RFE, NOID, NOIR), the intended parents receive a denial. Denials can be appealed; however, the appeal decision is full and final with no additional options or remedies for the intended parents (however, other immigration options may be available, so please seek the advice of an attorney). All appeals are completed at USCIS Office of Appeals in Washington, D.C.
The following reasons I have observed as the most common for RFE, NOID, NOIRs and Denials:
1. Petitioners (intended adoptive parents) do not meet financial guidelines. A Petitioner may have received an initial approval of their I-600A Advanced Processing of the Orphan Visa; however, finances may have changed or ways in which finances were reported changed and therefore, the Petitioners are not deemed to qualify upon the filing of their I-600. Often a Petitioner can include a co-sponsor for the child and then qualify (co-sponsors can be anyone that agrees to be financially responsible for the child until the adoption in the U.S. is fully recognized and child becomes a U.S. citizen).
2. Child does not qualify as an orphan. This is the most disheartening problem as often the child' qualified per the foreign laws BUT do not qualify per U.S. immigration laws and therefore, the parents that have completed the entire adoption cannot obtain permission for the child to immigrate into the U.S. This problem has increased with the increase of independent international adoptions and higher scrutiny of the orphan visa. U.S. has very complicated and specific laws on the qualifications of an orphan. The mere reading of the qualifications will likely not be sufficient for a determination for most parents as there is additional case law that accompanies the interpretation of the laws as well.
3. Information in documentation is not consistent (dates/names/descriptions).
4. Adoption process was not done properly. This could include anything from corruption to using the wrong judicial system.

What can you do? Most importantly, if you are adopting internationally, you should always work with a licensed adoption agency or an experienced adoption attorney. These professionals can assist you with the entire process and hopefully can prepare you for issues or even help prevent issues in bringing your child home.

Do you have questions about international adoption or help with orphan visa appeals? Contact Michele Jackson at Harden Jackson Law. Our Adoption Practice Group can assist clients in a number of domestic and international matters.

Surrogacy is a family building option for those who want a child and have not had success with other assisted reproductive technology (ART) treatments. There are two types of surrogacy -- traditional and gestational -- that are practiced today.

In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate is both the egg donor and surrogate, and is therefore genetically related to the child. The surrogate carries an embryo that was created with her own egg and the sperm of the intended father who, with the intended mother, will obtain legal and physical custody of the child. Traditional surrogacy can be accomplished either by intrauterine insemination (IUI) or by in vitro fertilization (IVF). The Traditional Surrogate is inseminated with the Father's or Donor's sperm monthly at ovulation until pregnancy occurs.

In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate gives birth to a baby created with an egg and sperm from the "intended parents," or the embryo can be created from a donor egg and/or donor sperm. The majority of surrogates today are gestational carriers and have no genetic relationship to the child born from the arrangement. IVF is used to fertilize the eggs in a laboratory. If the fertilization is successful, a fertility doctor transfers some or all of the resulting embryos (usually two or three) into to the surrogate's uterus. After delivery, the gestational surrogate immediately surrenders the baby to the intended parent(s).

Many different people can use surrogacy as an option to build their families, including couples and single women who have had multiple failed pregnancies, those who are unable or have difficulty conceiving, those who are unable to carry a fetus to term or same-sex male couples who want a child with a genetic link to one of the partners.

With that said, we are continually reminded that many people still believe surrogacy can't happen in Indiana. Surrogacy can and does happen in Indiana! Stay tuned for our upcoming blog on surrogacy and the law in Indiana.

The new book released this week from New York Times bestselling author, M. Gary Neuman discusses the long-lasting negative impact divorce has on children caught in the middle of the 'irreconcilable differences. The book is titled, The Long Way Home: The Powerful 4-Step Plan for Adult Children of Divorce.

According to the book description, millions of adults were children of divorce--and while a few have found closure and healing, many continue to struggle with the trauma of their parents' divorce, commonly even 20, 30, or 40 years after it happened. If you are experiencing some of the common reactions to divorce, including issues of trust, ongoing sadness, and the feeling that you can't shake your past, then you are likely still suffering from the pain of your parents' divorce. This book is designed to help you rebuild your past, regardless of how long you have felt unable to do so. Licensed family counselor Gary Neuman has worked successfully with many adult survivors of parental divorce. In this book, he presents a new, proven program to help you see and understand your past in order to let go of the pain of your parents' divorce and transform both your present and your future.

Neuman recently conducted a study of 379 children of divorce. The startling results are below:

• 89 percent believe their parents' divorce clearly had a negative impact on their life, while 45 percent label the impact as severe.
• 80 percent have experienced severe sadness or depression.
• 72 percent feel their parents' divorce impacted their ability to sustain close relationships.
• The majority feel their parents' divorce has undermined their self-confidence and ability to trust.

The study doesn't speak to how the children fared with the tension in the household before the divorce. Was it a high-conflict household? Did the divorce reduce the conflict in the house? Did the children have any negative effects from conflict that led to the divorce? Divorce is going to happen, and so will other bad or negative things that may impact our children. How can parents support and nurture our children to better handle divorce or other hurts in this world?

Do you have questions about divorce or how to help your children through this difficult time? Contact Harden Jackson

Divorce is tough. For most people, it brings up ideas of adversarial court battles, custody disputes and angry spouses. But divorce does not always have to mean war. Created in the 1980s, the collaborative divorce concept has slowly but surely gained popularity for couples who want to maintain peace in their family, even during a divorce. While the concept is still taking off in Indiana, collaborative law can be a great alternative to the "typical" divorce litigation process.

Collaborative Law is an alternative dispute resolution process in which the parties retain separate attorneys whose primary function is to help them reach an agreed settlement. The parties and their attorneys collaborate in good faith, and commit to communicate respectfully and honestly to represent the legitimate needs of both parties. The parties agree not to litigate, nor threaten to do so, and if that should occur, the Collaborative Law process terminates and both attorneys are disqualified from any further involvement in the case. Attorneys hired for a Collaborative Law matter cannot continue to represent their respective clients in a litigated case.

Collaborative Law is not the best option for everyone. The best candidates for the collaborative process are parties who:

a. Want a civilized, respectful resolution of the issues.
b. Would like to keep open the possibility of a friendship with the other party.
c. Will be co-parenting children together and want the best co-parenting relationship possible.
d. Want to protect their children from the harm associated with protracted, contested litigation.
e. Have a circle of friends and family in common.
f. Have ethical or spiritual beliefs that place high value on personal responsibility and integrity.
g. Value privacy in personal affairs.
h. Value control and autonomous decision-making and do not want to hand over decisions about financial distribution and/or child-rearing arrangements to a stranger (i.e., a judge).
i. Recognize the restricted range of outcomes generally available in the court system, and want a more creative and individualized range of choices available for resolving your issues (provided such are compliant with all rules and guidelines).
j. Place as much or more value on the relationships that will exist in the restructured family situation versus a priority of obtaining the maximum possible amount of assets.
k. Understand that conflict resolution with integrity involves achieving mutual, reasonable goals.

If you are considering divorce, find out if Collaborative Law is right for you and your family.

For more information about collaborative divorce in Indiana, contact Harden Jackson Law at www.hardenjacksonlaw.com or 317.569.0770

From a recent CNN story, when a Connecticut couple learned their surrogate mother was carrying a fetus with developmental disabilities, they offered her $10,000 to have an abortion.

In August 2011, Crystal Kelley was carrying the child of another couple. When Kelley was approximately 20 weeks pregnant, an ultrasound showed that the baby had a cleft lip and palate, a cyst in the brain, and a complex heart abnormality. The parents offered Kelley $10,000 to abort, stating "Given the ultrasound findings, (the parents) feel that the interventions required to manage (the baby's medical problems) are overwhelming for an infant, and that it is a more humane option to consider pregnancy termination,". Kelley declined. The couple and the surrogate had legal contracts and part of that contract included a clause that she'd agree to abort if the fetus had a severe abnormality. However, the contract did not define what constitutes such an abnormality.

The parents then stated that they planned to exercise their legal right to take custody of their child -- and then immediately after birth surrender her to the state of Connecticut. She would become a ward of the state. Kelley could not bear to send the child into the foster care system, especially when she had so many medical problems.
Kelley fled Connecticut for Michigan, where she, not the genetic parents, would be considered the baby's legal mother. Michigan is a state that does not recognize surrogacy contracts, and so the baby legally belongs to the woman who's carrying the baby.

In Ann Arbor, she gave birth to a child with severe medical conditions. The legal dispute over the child continued. The case became even more complicated when the parents filed legal papers that included a stunning admission: the wife was not the baby's genetic mother -- they'd used an anonymous egg donor.

Three weeks after the baby was born, both sides finally reached agreement. Kelley had found an adoptive family that had experience with special needs children and placed the child with them. The father agreed to give up his paternal rights as long as he and his wife could keep in touch with the adoptive family about the baby's health. The outcome could have been very different had Kelley stayed in Connecticut.

People are often confused about the surrogacy laws in Indiana. In Indiana, a court process must be completed to establish parental rights but biological parents prevail in having rights.

Those considering surrogacy should keep in mind that a gestational surrogate has the right to make medical decisions (like abortion) while carrying a child for the biological parents.It is important for all parents pursuing a typical pregnancy, surrogacy or adoption that it is not to have a perfect child. There are no guarantees in life and there are no guarantees with any pregnancy or child.

If you have questions about surrogacy or assisted reproductive law, please contact Harden Jackson Law.

It appears that Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher's divorce details have gone public. In recent court documents filed on Thursday by Demi, she not only wants support from the "Two and a Half Men" star, but she also wants him to pay her attorney's fees in their divorce proceedings. Ashton filed for divorce in December, more than a year after Demi announced that the marriage was over.

The California court has tremendous discretion in setting alimony or spousal support .Generally, under California law, whatever you acquire together, whether it is a dollar or $100 million dollars, you split it in half. It seems that Demi is alleging that Ashton made significantly more than she during their marriage.

What would happen if the two lived and divorced in Indiana?

Indiana generally does not allow for permanent spousal support or alimony. However, the courts may order for temporary spousal maintenance payments while the divorce proceedings are in progress. There are three specific situations in which a court may order permanent or long-term spousal support/maintenance. A court may make the following findings concerning maintenance:

(1) If the court finds a spouse to be physically or mentally incapacitated to the extent that the ability of the incapacitated spouse to support himself or herself is materially affected, the court may find that maintenance for the spouse is necessary during the period of incapacity, subject to further order of the court.

(2) If the court finds that:

(A) a spouse lacks sufficient property, including marital property apportioned to the spouse, to provide for the spouse's needs; and

(B) the spouse is the custodian of a child whose physical or mental incapacity requires the custodian to forgo employment;

the court may find that maintenance is necessary for the spouse in an amount and for a period of time that the court considers appropriate.

(3) After considering:

(A) the educational level of each spouse at the time of marriage and at the time the action is commenced;

(B) whether an interruption in the education, training, or employment of a spouse who is seeking maintenance occurred during the marriage as a result of homemaking or child care responsibilities, or both;

(C) the earning capacity of each spouse, including educational background, training, employment skills, work experience, and length of presence in or absence from the job market; and

(D) the time and expense necessary to acquire sufficient education or training to enable the spouse who is seeking maintenance to find appropriate employment,

A court may find that rehabilitative maintenance for the spouse seeking maintenance is necessary in an amount and for a period of time that the court considers appropriate, but not to exceed three (3) years from the date of the final decree.

For more information about spousal support or divorce in Indiana, please contact Harden Jackson Law.

Remember, these suggestions are not meant to be legal advice. You should consult a family law attorney to discuss the specifics of your situation.

Photo courtesy: www.hollywire.com